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not what i expected

February 3, 2011 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Bike

Comments:
turned out to be a good day overall, and i really enjoyed my cross training experience. david dixon was in there when i got there. i went kind of easy, 30 minutes, just under 11 miles, but i cooled down to get there. listened to some real good music.
feeling a chris kelly log coming on, so as he apparently says "let's get it on."
throughout the day i had lots of time to think, and just had a lot on my mind. i've been more aware of getting the essentials done lately and i really am feeling good about running lately. things are falling in place even more than they usually do during track, despite a minor mental mishap. i've talked to coach a few times about it, and track has always been the better of my two seasons. i think it’s because of the mathematical way i think, and just knowing exactly what distance i'm at at any given point in a race allows me to keep focus on hitting what i want, and it’s a lot harder for me to let someone get away. our "project" is to try and get a way for me to translate this to xc. i want to succeed here in track, and i know i can based on previous years, and i've set my sights high, even if i haven't mentioned it here, i have it posted everywhere i can that i want to break 15:30 in the 5k this year. it looks like it’s far away and some people might think i'm being unrealistic but especially after the way i started this season, by myself with a pr, i can do it. i want to. to be honest, i'd race just the 5k the rest of the year if possible, but coach probably doesn't want me too, avoiding burning out and injury, and she knows what she's doing, i trust her. but the 5k is my event. i made it mine the day i ran that 16:15 a year and a half ago. i really should have told her i wanted to run that 5k at the cmu dual meet, because with the competition there and people to chase down during the race i could have gotten under 16:00 for sure, and would have avoided that whole mental self-destruction. but even if i accomplish that 15:30 goal it means nothing to me if i can't put it all together come summer/fall. i don’t want to say i'm going to come in next fall and beat anyone who i've not beat, because that's honestly how it is, i ran awful this fall, and nothing says i can be better than them, yet. i'd like to be part of the regional team if not top 5. but i won’t say i’m a part of it until it happens. i’ve been around lots of different people on so many different kinds of teams since i started running, and i’ve learned lots of things. i've watched long enough though. i'm not done learning, you know no one ever is, and all that stuff they always say, but i'm ready to do something, now. an 8k is not that much longer than 5k and i want to be able to put it together in cross for the first time in my life, because i think i can be a big part of helping this team get to nationals. i never went to any state meets, cross or track, to run and i certainly want to get into some big meets here in college. i will gladly watch a team at the national meet, because it will mean people who deserve it got there, as i'm going to make sure i do everything to get there. on the other hand, i will not watch a national meet without our team in it, if i can do anything about it. i watched one of my teammates at the xc state meet my senior year, and i felt awful that he had to be out there alone. i don’t like to admit it, but my performance was a big factor in us not making the state meet. if i had raced the way i had the first time we ran boardman, i may have made the state meet on my own, not just help to propel our team to state. i will never be the reason a team doesn't get to move on again.