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Last Run for a While

September 4, 2011 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 70 Cloudy

Comments:
Lennox to Michelson, up West Park to Shaker to Gates Mills to Cedar and back ... to Green anyways (with Chris Kelly)-

I met Chris at 6:30 at the sophomore dorms for a long run. He seemed a little irritable at first and we didn't talk much on the way out. We went out really far, further than I'd ever gone before. I suggested we take the south side of Shaker back so I could get a drink.

Between Brainard and Richmond, my left foot started hurting and I slowly became aware I was limping. We slowed some and stopped at the shelter but it didn't seem to be getting better. Eventually, Chris told me I ought to stop and that he would run back and pick me up. I tried to resist a couple times, but by the time we got to Green, it became obvious to me that I was not going to make it. I started walking back and Chris picked me up in Steve's car near Hathaway Brown. I was very glad Chris was there because otherwise it would have taken hours for me to get home and I could barely walk. I spent much of the day debating whether or not it was a stress fracture and eventually decided to take a nap.

Right after the injury, I was taking it all in stride and joking some. I was trying not to feel sorry for myself and see the next month or two not as a hurdle to jump but rather a part of my life, important for some purpose beyond my knowledge. As the fact that I will not be running for a long time started to settle in more and more, I became a little depressed about it.

Unlike my past injuries where I was constrained to some regimented schedule, this time I have the rest of my life to deal with it. I cannot run forever. This isn't a matter of 'getting it over with' or 'making it through' anymore; now it's about finding a new way forward that doesn't include running for a while. It's not the life I want but it's what I have and I may as well finally take that in stride. These days of my life have some value even though I don't understant why.