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What's That Choking Sound I hear?

February 14, 2009 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: Indoors

Comments:
Oh, it's Tim trying to do something under pressure.

To be honest, I don't think I really deserved to be here and it showed. I just mentally went to pieces. I wasn't ready to race. There was nothing physically wrong with me. I should have lapped myself.

As much as I know I hate failure, I wonder if part of me hates success, too. I don't know how to win. There was just no reason to nearly get lapped by the field, and as Coach told me, "it wasn't you running those last two miles today." I need to figure this stuff out before conference. I would prefer to never get embarassed like that again.

The funny thing is that a year ago, 16:34 would have been a PR. Today I was hardly tired. I think sometimes I need to do something absolutely horribly in order to improve. I needed to fail once before I can succeed.

Also: I owe Mike Petro a special thanks for warming up and cooling down with me.