View Workout (Joe Uhan)
Out with C, Part II
December 1, 2013 (Night)
Exercise Type: Other
Comments:
-- The Dream Picture --
Chelsea broke the emotion by showing me her "dream picture". She and I have been having a lot of dreams about one another recently. I've dreamt about her every night for a week, at least. She, too, or close to it. On Wednesday, she told me she had a particularly vivid dream about me, but she was going to wait til I got back to tell me. In reference to our artwork sessionn, I told her, "I'd like an illustration!"
Before Church, I told her about a brief, bizarre dream I had about her on Thursday night: we were together, and I was "hairy" (not super-hairy, just not "trimmed"). I asked her if she liked "hair", and she said she did.
When I told her that, she was shocked: "MY dream was about hair, too!"
She takes the picture out from her purse and shows it to me: really artfully done coloring of a mountainous, wooden landscape. In it, the sun is setting to darkness, and she and I are there, kissing one another. In her dream, we kiss "on top of a mountain", but as we're kissing, her hand on my back feels "hair growing"...and I gradually turn into a wolf!
Wow! So on the drawing there's me with a pelt of fur on my back, then a wolf sitting beside us.
Then, as the sun sets and we're kissing (with me, apparently, going werewolf), part of the forest explodes in flames!
WOW!
She added two quotes to the work:
"Love is a friendship that has caught fire", and
"The best kiss is the one that has been exchanged a thousand times between the eyes before it reaches the lips".
WOW!
But not only is this surreal in its vividness (what does the wolf and flames mean?), but I have intended - since at LEAST Wednesday - to take her to the top of Skinner Butte for our first kiss. Wow. There's no way she knew this, or that I knew about her dream, before then.
I'm a big believer in the spiritual - perhaps not in rote Christianity, but in the power of a superconscious spirit that flows within and between us. There's something there, real, and powerful, between us. I am certain of it, and this stuff is "evidence" to that.
-- The Kiss --
It's 8:45 by now and it's go-time. I'm going for it. All this means something; a lot. So I get behind the wheel of her car and (as a surprise, I hadn't yet told her) drove to the top of Skinner Butte.
It's dark, but eerily glowing. It's windy, but not raining or cold. We get out, I take her hand and we start walking to the west end, to where we met that night in October of last year. She joked to me about "repeating everything we do". I relate to her the idea of "re-creating good memories" as we inch closer to the bench where we sat that night.
I told her about that night: the meanfulness of what we shared with each other, and how, even though it was tainted by our actions a year ago, those feelings stood the test of time. I turned to her and brought her close:
"I fell in love with you up here, at that moment - when I surrendered to the fact that being your friend was the most important thing I could do for you."
"Then, I lost you, and I thought you were gone forever. But you came back. And the fact is, I might lose you again: it could be in a month, or in 70 years..."
I told her about this past week, and about how, since Wednesday, being gone, I've thought, "What if I *never* get to kiss her?"
So I told her, "I may lose you again, but I'm not going to not ever have you."
And then I kissed her.
And again. And a few times more. It was incredible. I've never seen *her* so happy! She was giggling! I love-love-loved it! We stood her for a while longer before walking back to the car, her hand in mine.
We walked in silence for a bit (silence is okay!), and then she spoke:
"You know what? When I'm with you...I'm so much at peace - no one else makes me feel that way - yet I get the butterflies every time I see you!"
Exactly.
We drove back to my apt, and she came up. We sat on the couch together, in each others' arms; I told her she had to come back and "listen to the Beach Boys Christmas Album" once through, which she did.
We had one final chat. She asked me about my family: I explained the disastrous first meeting with Britt and my family, and how I plan to do things differently this time. We talked about how she is going to reconcile with my friends/family, though I perceive this is going to be difficult for her, as she put it, "without ever meeting them". I'm going to be patient on this one, but I do feel it needs to happen, and she is willing.
Finally, at 1030, I walked her back to her car, but not before a few more embraces. Damn, what an awesome night.
There's clearly sooo much more work to do, and the future remains uncertain, but - for now, for the first-time ever - she is mine! Wow.