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Around RF with Haus

December 30, 2013 (Night)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 5F, but felt way colder

Comments:
Wanted to spend time with my friend Max, and he wasn't free 'til 9, so we decided to go for a night run together then.

It had warmed up slightly for a bit, but then nosedived again to near-zero, and the lack of any sunlight made it feel much colder. We ran from his house south on Main St, down Cemetary by the new high school, then through campus - one of my classic routes I used to do when I coached at RFHS. It had snowed lightly all day (maybe 3/4 inch), but the Speedcross were $$.

I hadn't had any substantive talks with Haus since June, so he asked me right away about "any big things". I started with, "Rememberrr...?" and he started laughing.

I told him the Chelsea story, but kept it under :10. This was important, because I have a habit (in '12, at least) of my shit dominating our conversations, and he's such a great guy that he'll literally talk about EVERYTHING about me before volunteering anything about him.

This was the case a year ago, when I came to find, in January, that Max was REALLY struggling. He went through a really tough divorce (his wife cheated on HIM) in ~'06, but seemed to rebound really well: got remarried in '10, had an awesome little girl in '12. He's a very driven guy - always has been - as a local attorney and community activist.

But he was pushing himself too hard, and when he was telling me about his struggles, I knew it was trying to fill that divorce wound. It was bad enough to get to the point, fall of '12, that he actually contemplated suicide.

When we talked in January, and again in June, he was still struggling: his whole affect was "a notch higher" indicating a tempest of anxiety beneath his persona. It really worried me, so I really wanted to know where he was at.

Just listening to his tone when I was talking about Chelsea made me feel he was doing better - the "engine idle" was so much lower and the Old Haus.

Then we talked about him. The mere fact that he said, "I'm not sure I know how I'm doing", I think, was a good thing: that ke *knows* he's still dealing with stuff, but not trying to bury. He told me he's on anti-anxiety meds and both he and his wife are seeing a counselor (separately). The guy he's seeing is *the bomb*, though, because he stayed present-centered with Max for a long time before going into the past. But he ultimately got to some old, old "dad stuff". When he said that, I knew he hit the jackpot. Max's dad is great, but super-hard core, and a lot of the self-pressure stuff Max has been under started when I first met him, in middle school.

So all in all, he's on the right path. I shared with him my struggles with anxiety and how I'll be starting counseling in January, so perhaps it will be a good journey for us both to explore.

The run was pretty good: DAMN cold at first, to the point where my hands were so cold I had to run with them in the pouch of my hoodie for a mile+. They eventually warmed up, but barely. It was very peaceful and a great chat, but I felt like crap: like I'd had like 4-5 beers...

Ran for about 48 minutes, fairly easy.