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PRE + Spfd (+Island Park addon) + Fairmount/Campus + PRE's rock

February 2, 2014 (Night)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Pretty good day. Slept in (Chels was up til FOUR THIRTY talking with her friend Tonya!), and had an interesting chat with Chels. She brought up that she feels like I'm not affectionate enough - that I'm not consistently displaying more passion to her.

We got to the bottom of it (or she did, mostly): that when things went south with ex-husband, that was what went away. That, and she's been very used to men being "super passionate" with her (Jefe, Curtis, others), so she's interpreting my (what I feel is) normal interactions as deficient or, possibly, distancing.

It's definitely wound-driven: more of that abandonment, "I need this to feel wanted/normal". She admits bits of that. That, I and I went to great efforts to present FACTS to refute her claims (e.g. "We did kiss, for 15 minutes, yesterday morning; I DID kiss you at so-n-so). Wounds mask and amplify. And I feel like she gained a lot of her worth, early, from that sort of "passionate" (e.g. sexual) energy, rather than a multi-dimensional value of all parts of her.

As an aside, but related, I told her how I felt like she "touches me" (general physical intimacy), "like wayyy less than I'm used to". This is true. I like that stuff A TON and she does barely any. So that was a good reason to get us on the same page.

I think there's some hang-ups about people "having to ask" for stuff, but WTF? You can't mind-read all the time. It's OK to ask for more, even if it takes away from some of the magic.

After that, we engaged in some "restorative passion", then packed up to head back. We drove separately, which game me some time to mull over some things.

Once back, I cleaned up the apt, put the new allergy cover on my mattress/comforter (which no doubt rustled up a bunch of dust mite poop!!), then finally went for a run.

Ran the usual 12-mile route. Listened to some URP (gotta listen to Errol "The Rocket" Jones' 'cast -- an old-boy runner, friends of Tropical John), then some tunes.

Felt STIFF. And TIRED. And quite a bit of L hamstring tightness, so I'm not exactly sure where that's coming from.

Worked on some gait analysis stuff, then went over to Chels'. Had a nice dinner, then watched an episode of DeGrassi.

Good end to a GOOD weekend, for sure.