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track warm-up + x3 Pisgahs

March 17, 2014 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
LONG, busy, fairly stressful day at work. No breaks, so I couldn't get my allergy shot. Hustled home to get dressed and get my truck.. There was a short track meeting, then I was barraged by injury/aches/pains questions, that both Hoskins and Hess directed toward me. Though tedious, this is good since they're beginning to trust me/make me useful

We had hurdle mobility so while the kids warmed-up, I ran laps on the track, then watched the hurdle drills. Consulted on MORE injuries (minimum half-dozen kids today in total), then everyone split off for their runs: some kids running long, and a small group doing a track session. I selfishly just left, because a.) it was 5:30 already by then(!!) and I NEEDED to get some vert training.

Drove out to Pisgah for THREE up/downs. Had a lot of fun: brought some tunes and literally "danced" my way down the hill, mostly to some fun Fitz & the Tantrums tunes!

On the downhill of the 2nd, Cliff jumped out of nowhere to surprise me: he said earlier in the day he might join but he never got back to me, but there he was! We finished the 2nd descent, then did the final up/down, together. Had some good chats about stuff: delving into some relationship stuff amongst the pow-hiking.

The plan that night was to go out together and catch up: we literally have not had a just-me-and-him hangout since early December, when he was just getting started with Melissa. So after the run was done, we went to my place to clean up, then headed to Hop Valley in The Whit for beer/food.

Had some good chats about stuff: me/Chels, he/Melissa, and some general stuff about women, relationships, and being social. It's notable that he, too, feels the "drag down" of his social skills now that he's with Melissa. It's like, after big periods of having to try hard, you "stop trying". This is not necessarily a good thing - in fact, I think it's really bad - because you get lazy on a lot of things (which got me into a lot of trouble with Chels).

Cliff was his old self with the wait staff, with his nearly-incomprehensible, stream-of-consciousness flirty engagement. It's quite innocent but overt, and good for me to star to "re-lubricate" those skills.

We then got to talking about Ashley and Hannah Bontrager, "The Ballerinas" with whom we once again hung out with on Saturday night. I think they're just phenomenal people: Hannah, especially, but only because I feel she's matured and grown farther along than her younger sister, Ashley. We talked about how Hannah's husband of nine years - and oft-absent - Spencer is FINALLY moving home. I questioned how that will work for them both, as you get into a "routine" of someone being gone after that long (he's military). I'm ever-skeptical, and have serious doubts about how they'll reshape that relationship.

We then turned to Ashley, and I gave Cliff my assessment of her, and her interest in me. In short: I feel like she really DOES like me, but that she sees me as the REAL DEAL -- like truly a valuable guy, as opposed to a "boy toy" -- and that freaks her out and prevents her from wanting to get close/interested in me. If I were just the "boy toy", the risk/loss would be less costly should I hurt her. But since I'm the "real-deal", me hurting/abandoning her would be much more painful...so she keeps me at arm's length. This also explains her behavior in July:

1. a sincere interaction on that Friday night in July (when I used the "Jorge Opener" to get sincere relationship advice from her)
2. her crazy acting-out behavior that I'm CONVINCED with a "shit-test"...that I utterly failed. She was acting out (a lot of outrageous, over-the-top sexual stories, comments, etc) to see if I'd bite on her shit. And, even though I was put off by it, I still perceived interest on her part and again asked her out, which she - OF COURSE - demurred.
3. That she acts pretty cold to me (but it's really shyness/reserved) in our initial interactions, but then makes pretty overt "Indicators of Interest" (IOIs) as she did on Saturday night...but ONLY when I've ignored her.

Clearly, there's dad issues at play here.

Well, shit, no sooner than we wrapped that convo that Cliff got a text from Hannah saying she and Ashley were at Cafe 440 - where Ashley works - and wanted to hang out! Ha! It was 9ish PM by then and I had to be up before 4, but I wouldn't ever pass up a chance to hang out with those ladies, so off we went!

Got to 440 just as they were closing, after a live music event. Hannah was her super-outgoing self, introducing us to friends/other folk. Ashley was sitting off to the side with another coworker, counting tips, and she was her usual ambivalent self. "HI, ASHLEY!", I said, forcefully, as you might to a shy little kid. :-p

Since 440 was closed, we decided to relocate. Hannah left her credit card at this new (college-y) sportsbar we went to on Saturday night, so that would be our default hangout. We all met there. I stopped at work to print boarding passes, acutely aware that it was now nearly 10PM and I had to be on my bike in six hours!

Cliff and Hannah had drinks and were on one side of a big booth when I arrived. Ash was milling around drink-less so when we both approached the bar, I bought both our drinks. This is "against" pickup-artist protocol, but we're so far beyond that - I just want to be a gentleMAN (the Chels Book Rules trump all, at this point). Ash asked me AGAIN about my body (she did on Saturday night, too, when she PUT HER HANDS UP MY SHIRT to feel my ABS!), asking about beer drinking and "being skinny".

We went back to the table, but Ashley sat on a stool at the end of the table, basically next to Hannah on the other side, rather than sit by me! HA! Jeez.

We talked about a myriad of stuff, friends, relationships, some random nutrition nuggets. We talked about their older half-brother and how he's a crazy religious nut-job back east. There's clearly some masculine/father issues in that family, unfortunately.

During this time, Cliff got up, then for a while maneuvered a stool BETWEEN Hannah and Ashley, essentially forcing Ash to move closer to me. She was still in a stool, but at least on "my side of the border"!

Oh Cliff, I love your antics - the consummate Wing Man.

A short time later, Cliff - also the consummate "sketchy-if-you-didn't-know-him" guy - starts to give Hannah a shoulder massage. We talk sports medicine - and how ballet is super-hard on people. I tell Hannah (who co-produces the company with her mom) that I'd love to volunteer/contribute to the Company some PT services.

My professionalism makes me uneasy about randomly massaging attractive women in public places, but by now it's fucking 11:30 on a Monday night in a sketchy sportsbar on St Pattys Day: all rules are out the window. And at this point I actually feel bad that (perhaps once again, the them of their lives?) Hannah's getting something that Ash isn't.

So just as she's talking about being super-tired and wanting to leave, I put my hand on her shoulder and get to work: "Maybe this will make you want to stay?" And, of COURSE it does, so within seconds she's sitting next to me in the booth...and both me and Cliff are "massaging Ballerinas": neck, upper back, shoulders, and even hands/forearms. There's something implicitly nurturing (and strangely intimate) about hand massages, and that point wasn't lost on me.

As I'm doing this, I'm really not feeling anything in particular. Part of it is my professionalism (I really do NOT want to "feel anything" when I work on someone); another part is that I don't want to get sucked into a purely physical draw to Ashley; and lastly, I feel like I just want to GIVE HER some nurturing -- perhaps this is guilt/pent-up from Chels, recently.

I must've "worked" on her a good 20 minutes before I wrapped things up: both sides of her. Cliff got to talking about how much he likes back scratches from Melissa, and I chim in on how much I LOVVVVVE "head scratches". So without any hesitation, Ashley goes to work on ME!

Hot damn, it felt terrific. I just bowed me head and was speechless -- oh, the "power of reciprocity", but perhaps (just maybe?) she truly wanted to nurture or connect with me. I can hope. It was only a few minutes, but it felt incredible. It's just so sad that I can count on a single hand the number of times Chels ever did that for me, despite me telling her and ASKING her for it. It felt good to be nurtured again.

It was now past-midnight and it was time to go. We walked Hannah to her car, then I walked Ash to hers. Though I wasn't planning on ANY grand gestures, Cliff unwittingly ruined it by running to catch up to us, but that was fine - he basically MADE this night many times over for me!

It was a GOOD night. :-)