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fairly awful run with Matt

May 18, 2014 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: mid-50s, on/off rain

Comments:
Agreed to meet up with Matt for a pseudo-long run. Met at his place at 8:45 and were on the road before 9. It had rained hard overnight but was so far just damp. Didn't wear a jacket.

The run?...was rough. Again, don't know why, but I guess it feels like my legs - top to bottom - have some "shit" in them from the sickness, pre-Ice Age. Dunno. Either way, we were struggling to keep things in the 13x HR and still be able to run <8min pace. Ugh.

Still good to run with him: was old school to do a road run: from his place, around PRE, then to Dorris and back. Finished just before the hard rain started.

*****
Met Tanya for tea at the tea house downtown. I got there early to work on my article (which I FINALLY finished), then she showed up at 2:30.

It was good. A lot of earnest chats. I talked more (simply to open things up a bit on her end). She has a couple things going on, namely the belief that "she has a history" that she's not proud of, and I think she has a big fear of rejection from that. So I told her about some of my baggage. I also made a point of telling her about Becky, 2010: of her being unhappy in her marriage when she met me, how she left her husband "for me" -- but really, because she was horribly unhappy. And how we dated, but it didn't work out, and how she met Colin, and they're not truly happily married. The point was, that if you're not happy...you're not happy. And that us getting together freed us both: her from that relationship, and me from my own dejection and "failure" (and nearly moving back to Wisconsin). I wanted to impress upon her that it is NOT about "him versus me", but rather, "Is she happy?", and "Is there still any potential" in her current relationship to fulfill her needs, and do they have the same long term goals?

Overall, it was a good hangout. Some minor flirting, but not much. Drove her home, hugged her, and that was it.

Ugh, frustrating. But whatevs. I just want her to be happy, and I guess however that happens is good.