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CMLXXV

October 24, 2015 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 48, wore wool socks on my hands

Comments:
I guess at this point I'm just in shock. Now that I've had over a day to mope, there's no sense getting angry about my performance (5:35, 11:22), but I'd just like some answers and above all would like to know what to do going forward. And every once in a while I'd also like these three coaches to--oh, I don't know, ACTUALLY COACH ME. Yes, I am a college athlete and need to make my own decisions about training and races, but some advice would help; that also means I need to better seek it out. I'll write more on that in the next entry though.

It's remarkable how the emotional vibe on a team can in part make or break one's race. For Little Threes, though perhaps more sick than today, I was mentally on, knew I would run a serious race with, pardon the cliche, heart. Why? Because every single upperclassman, captain and coach had been extolling the importance of that day for 10 days prior. On the opposite extreme, everyone had been saying or implying that today was a joke race with the alumni; only Pete slipped in the occasional, "Oh, by the way people are peaking for this too!"--Some peak it was.

From the gun I had a nice rhythm and tried to balance going out too fast with saving too much. I made the unprecedented decision to race in my watch not only because there would be no on-course timers, but also because I thought I could look to it as a source of motivation. Perhaps some of my thought process from the 8k spilled into this event, and as I did at Purple Valley, I overestimated the distance AGAIN. But here's the thing: I have so many of the same thoughts and feelings as I would in a 5k last year, but suddenly it takes place on this new, much slower scale. I did things one does in a race, pushing uphills, chasing people, running downhills quickly, etc. but maybe like in my junior 3200s, all my negative thoughts were "winning" and maybe because of this situation I'm in, I DON'T, in fact have motivation.

My parents came for the weekend too and as years go by you would think they might know a little more about running, but it's very hard for them to understand. So I had to put my best face for the rest of the weekend. Unless you're a student (athlete), there's not much to do in Williamstown and I could only show them around for so long. Great to catch up with Saheezy and take him to the XC party at Tyler later that night.

Also, weekly total of 41.44 miles.

Properly spelled, the word cliche has an acute accent on the last e, which running- will not accept and this I always forget.