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MXI

December 4, 2015 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Thursday:
I went to Anglo-Afghan wars and managed to convince everyone, including the professor, over the course of a 2-minute presentation, that I had a specific topic for the final paper. I did most of the French reading that I was too excited to do last night, before having lunch at the grill with lots of XC fellas. While in the absence of Florent, a bright star in a gloomy galaxy, French has quickly reverted to the usual monotony, we did only discuss the first 10 pages of Les Chaises, so my reading delinquency didn't matter. During economics, in the most horrible time slot ever conceived, 2:35, I did my usual freak out and frantically write down everything the professor says act, only to digest the information later. From there--since I have committed to narrating everything now--I headed to the track meeting with Barron, who, unlike Pete, will actually make an effort to pay attention to individual athletes and their goals. In the fieldhouse we have a goal wall, with everybody's objectives from now through the spring posted. I have yet to have my goals meeting with him, but I'm looking forward to it. He's also having us send pre-meet objectives to him every single Thursday before meets (more on that later). Because of how they felt during the workout on Saturday, I've brought back my old XC Nike Victories and will wear them for the 5k.

SL blew my mind today.
"You need to find a way to deal with your pre-race anxiety. What are you so afraid of? Think like you're going outside to mow the lawn on a hot day. If you keep saying, 'Oh, it's going to be so hot and awful' you'll never get it done. But if you just focus on the task--as in, okay I'm going to mow this corner, then go over here, then go over there and then I'll be done, it'll go by much quicker. I think your problem is that your self-worth, your value as a person, is determined a lot by running, but the more you can separate your athletic self from your personal self, the better you'll run."

Shit. How could I not have seen that before? I'm not a worse person for running bad races. That sounds so obvious, but go back and read my other logs, and, to me at least, it's not nearly as clear. I always thought that my problems came from comparing myself to others too much, but maybe the real issue is that I think if I don't run "fast," I'm just lesser.

Friday:
Latin, studied econ for a bit, then, joy of joys, had lunch with Lacey. At 3, I ran Cozy plus with Rock, Ferland, Nigel, Lucas and Michael. My legs felt eh during the run, but I loosened up some more with drills and did six, long striders, really trying to accelerate, and stay relaxed at the same time. Let me tell you, they felt amazing. For whatever reason, I just started smiling and laughing, thinking about tomorrow. Why get nervous? Given yesterday's talk from Sarah, shouldn't I be able to like running during the warmup as much as during the race? Even Boardman once said, on the eve of Championships, you aren't worried about the race, because as soon as the gun goes off, you'll be in the zone.

Now to talk a little bit more about reality:
If the first mile's too slow, or even conservative but solid, I KNOW I can just speed up during the second one. In other words, I'd like to take a risk in the middle of the race. 16:30 or better--feasible, realistic, not overambitious, something I'd be pleased with.