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Missing the Old Site . . .

September 19, 2016 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: Misty

Comments:
Today I ran at Barber Pond with Andrew B., Alex, David, Hunter and Brendan. Before I fall into my tendency to complain whenever I write on runningdash, I think I'd better say that first semester's off to a great start and that I've never been happier to be at Williams. Everything makes more sense, and now I have a room of my own larger than the one I shared with Josemaria last year. The advantages of my sophomore status seem endless. The Powerade in the dining halls--long missed--tastes sweeter than before; and make no mistake, the deluge of reading has already begun, but these days find me more adapted to the college "way," and infinitely more relaxed.

It's pretty remarkable how your outlook on the season can change in a matter of days. Just 14 days ago I was in the zone, banging out some oslerians at preseason camp, brimming with confidence. And the next day my log for the long run read, "Frustrating enough to make me quit." 48 hours later I ran a 12-minute uphill tempo followed by 3xMile at 5:43, 5:31 and 5:36. That's fitness, right? About that day I wrote, "Pleased." Two days after that, my foot starts hurting again--which was, admittedly, my own fault for showing too much zeal upon my return to campus. Thinking I'd be able to hold on, I woke up on the morning of the Vassar 6k and knew I'd better not race it just by walking to the shower. Since then it's been the bike, the pool and a little bit of the alter G. But this whole week I've been missing the collective of the team and wondering if I'll be able to pick up the pieces: yesterday I ran a quick 3k and 2k on our home course as part of a workout with no pain, which was promising, and today's run took place without issue. But these kinds of occurrences are symptomatic of a larger ideological fermentation taking place . . .

Only in the past six months have I even begun to see the light, and I look at dated logs with disgust and embarrassment, asking, "Jesus, Liam, how stupid can you be?" And this is a word that's always interested me. We all know that running brings out the compulsivity in us, that weekly mileage is such an ingrained metric that we almost can't help but obsess over it. I know these things. But that just doesn't stop me from making STUPID training decisions. I've done so many runs where it's not a matter of, "What do I want to do?" but, "What can I talk myself into?"

I came into college with a sense of destiny--I'm SUPPOSED to run high milage; I'm gonna be a mileage guy, I can handle it. A few people at Williams ARE that guy. It's not an easy feeling to shake and in a way, we're all in love with that ideal. But experience has taught me the second I try to run over 65 in a week, my body just revolts. This is a realization I'll have to put into practice somehow. So with Saturday's 8k looming, I have to refocus, try not to be stupid, and see if I can return to consistent running.