View Workout (Hannah Avidon )

Return to Log

Is the sky really blue somewhere over the rainbow?

July 23, 2017 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Here comes a long, sad rant, so don't read if you don't want to hear it. I'm disappointed because for the first few minutes of this run, I was just thinking about how I was gonna write a really nice, happy log because I got out just as it stopped pouring, and it was just drizzling the whole run, and it was a decent temperature, and I saw a rainbow which is always so magical, but of course, despite the perfect atmosphere, the run sucked as like 95% of mine do. I was just looping my house with about a 2 block radius in case it started pouring again which was fine, but the loops were about 8 minutes and I had to stop to stretch my calves 3 times in 2.5 loops. It's just so so so frustrating and depressing that even when I get myself out to run, I feel like I'm not getting in any better shape because I'm so unable to run for real stretches of time. I've been running 5 weeks now, and it doesn't feel any easier than the second week. And I'm not even going any faster. The paces that feel fast to me are over 10 minute mile paces and that's embarrassing and makes me mad because I feel like I'm putting in the work, and it's just not paying off, and my body's preventing me from getting better. It's just the worst feeling when my body is constantly preventing me from doing what my brain wants to do. I want so badly to love everything about running, but it's so difficult to love something that hurts you. I want to be fast and pain-free and to feel like my body works the way I want it to. I know this is dramatic and kinda selfish because in the grand scheme of things, I'm in great health, and there are people so much worse off in life, but this is how I'm feeling, so I'm saying it. I just wish I could have a perfect run once in a while where everything felt great, and it would remind me that I like this sport, but that only happened once that I can remember in the last year, and right now I just feel slow and tight and sad.