View Workout (Joe Uhan)

Return to Log

Spring Creek/Ditch loop (+ JSG rollercoaster)

August 20, 2022 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: mid 50s, overcast

Comments:
Slept in until 7. Pretty stiff so I spent some time doing shin massage and stretching before going on a run.

Drove to OTHS and ran from there, up Spring Creek and the whole ditch loop.

Felt surprisingly good! Pushed the downs a bit to "season" the quads.

Got in a full 6 miles. Not a huge run, but a good one.

Rest of the day: all about Jules. Last night's chat set up a much more affectionate and "intimate" day:

• picked her up around 9:30
• soaked at OTHS. I massaged her right forearm while we sat in the hot springs.

Problem for me: I can't not "love on her". I can't not touch her, when I'm around her. And when I do, immediate and strong intimacy. She worked on my forearm a bit (Callie used to do this ALL the time, so it's badly needed!)

After a while, she wanted to go in the cooler, bigger pool so I followed her in there. We were alone in a secluded corner.

She has a subtle - but/and extremely hot - way of subtle physical intimacy. I sat near the ledge, and she'd stand beside me, brushing against me. Of course, I couldn't not reciprocate. I began subtly touching her back, neck...belly, butt...legs...whew...

She'd then touch...other things. It got hot, quick! Yikes!

That was a good 15 minutes before we finally settled down... Whew.

Therafter:

• to Beard and Braid for coffee
• walked the farmer's market
• breakfast at Yampa Valley Kitchen

But, frustratingly, we had another jarring "button push". I was joking about a line from The Office - how I wanted to say to her at one point,

"If you make me [go to the sattelite party] I am going to vomit....OK I am now vomiting."

But in doing so, I set it up by saying, "there was a time where you did something repulsive..."

She got LEGITIMATELY upset and defensive that she did something actually "repulsive".

She did not. I just said an exaggeratory word.

But it triggered this emotionally-repulsion in her that just throws ice water on what is usually a lighthearted (or even affectionate) situation.

It's weird. It's frustrating. It's emotionally jarring for me.

So that happened at the end of breakfast. She doesn't hold onto that feeling long, but again - it's a strong emotional trigger that simply isn't good or healthy for either of us.

After that:

• back to Garrett's vacant house
• I worked on her, though I felt both she and I were emotionally dampened, and she, tired. Did decent but limited work on her head/neck and hip. (Worked on her right hip and pelvis/belly, with her snug 501s, unbuttoned and partially pulled down. HOT...but nothing done.

And the worst/best "boundaries"? We decided to nap: her in Garrett's bed, me across the hall in the guest room. Brutal but awesome display of discipline for me.

After that:

• packed up and headed to Aneta's
• met Aneta and Matt and the four of us drove to Primrose for dinner
• Great dinner at Primrose with the 4 of us, plus Brent and Karen. Good chats about the current situation with the Johnsons

Did my best to socially facilitate, and to support and encourage both Karen and Brent.

After that, we hit up Strawberry Hot Springs for our 8pm reservation, meeting Gabe and Iliana. JSG and I drove with Aneta and Matt, riding in back. It was a weird similarity to 51 weeks ago, when the we did a clinic-wide trip to Strawberry Hot Springs, and I sat in back of Garrett's car with JSG (while Callie sat in front!). In the back seat, she put my hand in her lap, and I held hers, for nearly the whole drive.

The six of us sat in the upper hot pool for quite a while, chatting in the dark. JSG stood next to me, and our interactions were minimal and subtle.

But when we decided to move to a different pool, as we walked out, the rest of the group was ahead of us, and she, ahead of me. From in front of me, she reached back, pulled me against her, and put her hands "on me". WHEW!

I wish I'd had some 1:1 time with her but even our foray into the main (and summer-warm) river included Matt...then the rest of the group. Stayed until beyond 10pm before cleaning up.

The four of us had a nightcap, which included a 2-on-2 Catchphrase battle, at Barley. Then Aneta and Matt wanted to go home, but JSG and I stayed.

Like last week, she was "feeling" her discontent and frustration of life and work in Silicon Valley. The time spent with Brent and Karen - in addition to Steamboat in general - triggered the emotions of her current discontent and her desire to live and work in a place like Steamboat again.

She got increasingly upset and negative, mostly about herself ("moving away and ruining relationships", how "I'm not actually that good"). So we left Barley and walked around town a bit.

I did my best to stay positive and, when applicable, "correct" her assumptions about herself, her decision to chase excellence by working in SV, and her talent. It didn't seem to help, so I just let her vent.

By the time we got back to the van, it was nearly midnight. I didn't think it was a great idea to drop her off at Aneta's and have her stew, alone, in her negativity. So I asked her, "This isn't a ploy to 'try anything' [intimate], but I don't think you should be alone right now. Can I bring you back with me to Garrett's?"

She agreed.

We arrived back at Garrett's. She changed out of her tight 501s and into my sweats (hot), then encouraged me to sit next to her on the couch and we immediately became affectionate: holding, touching and hugging one another. Yikes / whew. Interspersed with chatting and encouragement.

Almost a mini-replay of Friday night WSER, there was a long hug where she would kiss my neck, only, and not want to lip kiss. I did kiss her cheek and forehead.

Not much later, she TILTED MY CHIN to her lips and we kissed. WHEW. Hot. Prolonged kissing, sitting beside each other on the couch.

Then, she got up and said, "I'm *only* doing this because my neck was getting sore": she sat up ON ME. We continued kissing...but with her aggressively GRINDING up on me. Oh god, so fucking hot. My hands were everywhere and into and beneath those sweatpants. (Her ASS is so fucking amazing!)

I tried to hedge the situation by saying, "I want to be patient...but I want you SO FUCKING BAD right now". She affirmed.

But before we transitioned upstairs...I triggered her again. I stated that I'd be there to support her. She got self-effacing again and questioned her abiilties. I countered with "everyone thinks you're amazing" / "Your skills have improved SO much in the past year!"

"Who thinks that?"

"Me, Curtis..."

That, apparently, wasn't enough names. She got upset, and crawled off me. Oh, geez. Just killed the mood.

Seemingly.

Rather than try to salvage the situation, I just went upstairs to get ready for bed. It was nearly 2. I made no assumptions of sleeping in the same bed. I just got ready and laid down in my guest room.

She asked if she could join. I said yes. She was [emotionally] back.

We cut the lights and hopped into bed. And IMMEDIATELY got after it. PASSIONATE. HOT.

After maybe two minutes of passionate make-out, she immediately stripped off my sweats and her white lace underwear. Mine were quickly gone as well, and - immediately - she put me inside her.

So. Fucking. Amazing. For real. The best feeling ever. Slow. Gentle. But increasingly hot. Me on top for maybe two minutes before she asked to be on top.

Again, maybe TWO minutes before she asked, "Is it OK if I 'cum'?" / "OF COURSE"! Near immediate orgasm.

SO. HOT.

Though she's not on birth control, I love that she trust my "control" and allows a lot of unprotected sex. I quickly don a condom and hop back on.

It's frankly amazing that she loves - and is pleasured - by my D, alone. Post-orgasm, she was immediately into me as I got back into it, with her legs on my shoulders. The. Best. I love watching her whole body shake, and feeling me inside her.

My orgasm was like this huge, seemingly prolonged shiver. Whew! So. Amazing.

*****

That, I suppose, was the end result of a prolonged weekend of:

• repairing trust
• doing our best to promote and defend boundaries
• progressive intimacy, both physical but - more importantly - emotional intimacy

She later told me, "I appreciate your constant support. No one has ever been able to console me in those moments. Even if I reject it in the moment, I still listen and feel it."

That was encouraging, since I frequently feel like my words and actions are useless in those moments with her. But those words - and her actions, on the couch and the bed - are evidential that my emotional support means something to her.