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Steamboat: RRR Course Run: Start to past Long Lake & Back

August 18, 2022 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: mid 50s to low 80s?

Comments:
Up early to get in a legit long run. Garrett and Coral were also up early for their flight, so I bid them farewell before heading to the ski hill just before 6.

Wasn't til about 6:30 before I shoved off from the base of the hill. I was out a quarter-mile when I realized I forgot my filter bottle. Once back for that, I headed up the hill at 6:40.

For some reason, I felt compelled to listen to things. As I hiked straight up the gut of the mountain, I listened to NPR/KLCC. It was nice pass the time.'

The uphill ski hike was HARD. SO STEEP. The race day course will be slightly less steep, it seems, but pretty close.

Got to the very top in about 4.8 miles and 3500' feet? And it took 90 minutes! Even though it was slow, I felt pretty good...though the calves and feet were sore from the steep grade.

The "Mountain View Trail" runs 6+ miles from the ski area east, then north, to Fish Creek Trail. It was rolling and fairly cruiser, but not fast. All of it is between 9-10k'. I ran a fair amount, including some uphills, while keeping the HR firmly under 150, if not 140.

That said, it was still slow-going: 11 miles to the junction of Fish Creek and it took 2.75 hours! (That's firmly 15-minute pace!) Yikes.

I felt OK, but not great, once I turned northeast to Long Lake. Nerve tension was taking over: lots of ache and stiffness in the hamstrings, left worse than right.

I shuffled past Long Lake toward the Wyoming Trail, now going backwards on the final miles of the course. I ran maybe a half-mile up Wyoming before I hit 10am and a good time to turn back - knowing the way back will be both faster, but longer.

I stopped to do both some left cranial and coccyx self-work. Not sure it helped, but it's work that needs to be done.

Jogged easy back, filtered water for the run back, then pushed on.

Felt a little slow and sluggish back on Mountain View. Lots of walking, but race-specific.

With about a mile to go to the ski area, I queued the "RRR Jamz" list and began playing it from my phone speaker. It was fun.

Super-fun when I hit road downhill. I was dreading it at first, then decided I'd do my best to "take advantage" and push it quickly. I was shocked and extremely pleased that I was quickly splitting low 7s, then mid 6s, then low 6s on the SIX-MILE descent! The final mile was a bit slower since it pops onto Zigzag trail, but still fast.

The HR really jacked and I felt cooked, but it was terrific training! No issues at all with my nerve tension, and my form felt damn good!

Run finished at 27.5 and about 5.75 hours. Not bad!

Rest of the day:
• rehydrated and fueled in the parking lot
• gradually made my way to Old Town Hot Springs. Actually did some upper body strength and nerve stretching - but no hot springs or sauna - before I had to go pick up Jules at the Hayden Airport

This set off an interesting - and pretty dismal, but gradually better - afternoon and evening.

• It was clear that last weekend, for the most part, was not a good idea. Jules felt super-guilty and, in doing so, made ME feel like shit. Shitty for making her feel bad; double-shitty because her guilt was super-rejecting to me! (Passion/intimacy, then guilty withdrawal)

• She got upset and acted in a rejecting way on Tuesday night, when I told her I gave Coral - Garrett's partner - a head's up that JSG intends to stay there. Coral is my good friend, but also a good friend of Callie, and I wouldn't conceal JSG's presence, even if they were going to be out of town. Jules was upset and, frankly, more concerned that other folks would think we were involved. Again, rejecting.

• I decided that I CAN'T act like her boyfriend until she's willing to at least entertain that idea. Right now, she's not. This means I was going to arrange our stay so that, if she stayed at the house with me, I'd stay in my van. BOUNDARIES.

I considered telling her that before I picked her up, but did not. So when I did get her at the airport, I was intentionally minimally-intimate: hug only, no other touching. But, so was she.

Things were surface level until we got to town. I dropped things at the house (but she did not), then we went to Taco Cabo, with great Yampa River views, for lunch.

There, she pre-empted me, by talking about how last week made her feel: "guilty", "dirty", and how she wanted to step things back. And, lastly, that she intended on staying at Aneta's for the weekend (which I suggested on Tuesday).

I was somewhat relieved, but also very sad. And rejected.

Fuck. Now what? Back to the drawing board?

Lunch was somewhat awkward. And, late afternoon, we headed back to Garrett's to rest before meeting Aneta and Matt for late dinner and pre-karaoke - our long-awaited Thursday night plan.

We sat far apart on the couch. I didn't know what to say or do. "Now what?" I felt like I didn't want to be there; like I shouldn't have even come. ALL things I told her over a week ago, when I was about to cancel the San Jose trip! Fuck.

She keyed in on that quiet and discomfort, as she does, but I had no answer for her. When she briefly fell asleep, I texted Garrett for some advice. He said to do my best to clear the air and clarify how *I* felt last weekend. That helped.

After some quiet rest, we gathered ourselves and went to Stehley Park - site of some good memories together last fall.

Once we got there, I asked that we sit down and chat. I told her:

• I didn't want to come to SJ, when she said the same, but reversed course when SHE objected to my cancel - and when I wanted to stay true to what I've said for months: that'd be there in any capacity when she needed support

• I told her that I had ZERO intention to spend the entire weekend together, to sleep together again (let alone 9x!), as it turned out. And - as I told her via text when I rebooked my flight to come - that my intent was to simply visit, not have physical intimacy, and be there as friends.

• and it was HER that agreed to stay there, and consented to escalating the intimacy!

It wasn't my intent to counter-argue ("it's your fault"), merely to explain that that's not how *I* wanted or intended, either!

I apologized for how that weekend turned out, AND the notion that I pressured or rushed her into "acting" with me: about which I feel TERRIBLE.

That was a good exchange. It just cleared the air, and provided a clean slate to maybe start over.

After that, we had a lot more fun:

• tossed around the football and talked about the future (Jules LOVES Steamboat, and relatively hates SV)
• drove back to the house, cheery and future-forward, to change for dinner
• met Aneta and Matt at Mountain Tap for beers and food

Then, the main event: karaoke!

• the four of us were joined by Gabe, Garrett's super-talented and equally kind early spring student, now here as a resident to Brent. He hung out while we imbibed, then eventually sang!

• My singing was decent, but ended well:

1. "U Remind Me" / Usher
2. "Senorita" / Justin Timberlake
3. "I Want it That Way" / BSB

All were "subtweets" to Jules, who increasingly enjoyed them. Aneta and Matt sang; then Aneta co-sang on Senorita. THEN we got Jules on stage with Aneta and I for "Take on Me" by A-Ha!

Fun.

And increasingly-intimate with Jules. She was thawing. Perhaps it was alcohol, fatigue or (as she put it), "drunk on altitude", but she was far warmer - and more physically intimate - with me. She stood and danced beside me, touched me (increasingly), and allowed me to touch her.

Good progress. Some trust being re-established.

We were there until music ended at 1! Then Jules went with Aneta and Matt, but with plans to workout and hangout most of the day with me.

It appears the weekend (and maybe our future) is salvaged!