View Workout (Joe Uhan)
Auburn AF
October 15, 2022 (Morning)
Exercise Type: Weights
Comments:
No running today.
Slept in a bit, then ran to the office to offload cardboard and load up the office rug I'm returning.
Ran to Anytime Fitness to lift before meeting Gloria for breakfast.
Really good spine roll/yoga/stretch, then light on legs, but good lift (x3):
• abs
• split squat (no weight)
• bicep DBs
• single leg bench bridge
• bench dips
Rest of the day:
• breakfast/coffee with Gloria. She's really nice and fun...but I feel like I'm falling into a "Callie situation": really nice, but lacking the spark. Good long chat, and encouragement for her to get out of the city and try Auburn (e.g. be happy!)
• Errands: returned rug, got power screwdriver, washed the van, returned shitty TV stand (Fedex)
• assembled the damn double dresser! Took a long time but looks great
• cleaned up the living room. Finally free of boxes. (Only one unassembled thing, the 3-shelf)
TOUGH STUFF
Jules texted this afternoon:
"Hey Joe-
Please stop sending things to my house. It makes me uncomfortable as it is that you have my address, and having that is a privilege. Sending stuff to my house is an invasion of privacy and doesn’t adhere to a boundary I’ve so clearly set."
At first, crushing. Yesterday I put odds at her reaction to my letter:
A• 10%: Rejection (/resistance)
B• 35%: Back to Zack
C• 55%: Acceptance (/thawing)
It's at A (if not also B).
Second: she never "set" that boundary (let alone "clearly"). But, it's encouraging that she's doing so (and using that parlance)!
Third: in the way she's now well-known, she didn't actually reject. It wasn't a "leave me alone". It was a "quit sending stuff".
Lastly: did she send this before or after reading it?
(Later that night: she liked something I did on Twitter... I sound like a nut job, but... she's certainly not avoiding me)
I was really depressed that afternoon and evening.
What am I DOING here? What am I DOING?
I'm 45 goddamn years old and here I am, "alone": no partner, no family of my own. What am I doing? What's my purpose? Why bother?
Cool, I'm in Auburn. But does anyone really CARE?
Yes, "life is good", but frankly, I'm tired of living it alone. And I thought I found "The Person" in Jules: someone who could SEE and FEEL me, but also with the passion to want to CONNECT and SHARE.
But now it seems, for now at least, that that's gone.
Just tough to stomach.
Good chat and vent with BGD at The Station over a couple beers. That helped.
The good stuff: I have some good "systems" going, and right now, I have to focus on pouring into that EVERY DAY:
1• Physical self-care: fitness (running, weights, mobility, yoga), meditation, sleep
2• Professional: networking, connecting, producing, marketing
3• Creative: writing (r-log journaling), content creation
4• Social: connecting with others (hangouts, "dates", social activities/groups, even introducing to others)
Every. Damn. Day. SYSTEMS.