View Workout (Katherine Bronstein)

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8x400 at AU

October 18, 2010 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 65

Comments:
i don't know how i did it. that terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, that shiver up your spine, that uncontrollable crazy mind, that heart beat racing - it was all there. today was no different. i was crazy nervous about this work-out.
but then i blocked it all out. i looked up at the trees and thought, "wow, this is a beautiful day." i looked at my shoes and thought, "wow, maybe i can do this."
i stepped up to the line and took off. but i didn't let the rush of adrenaline completely take over. unlike usual, my mind decided that i should run a bit smarter. and as i reached 150m i began accelerating slightly and kept it going all the way through the finish. i didn't go crazy though - i kept the whole 400m steady, relaxed and pretty even.
then marisa tells me - "where are your nerves - left side or right side?" and when i tell her both, she responds by grabbing the top of my head and throwing the imaginary nerves into the bushes. and i was...i guess it worked...relief...then - enjoyment.
and then i did it again. and again. and again. until i had done it 5 times. and i stayed with the team the whole time, even through the 400m recovery laps. yes, i stayed with the team the whole time.
but then it was time for the 6th. this time, some people in our group were done, including the two boys i'd been enjoying running with. i thought, "umm maybe, just maybe, i can do this... ??"
so i stepped up to the line and took off again. my nerves let me start off a bit faster, but not too fast. it wasn't terrible. my confidence wasn't totally lost. and then came the 200m mark. and i heard the footsteps. i couldn't drown out those terrifying footsteps behind me anymore. i managed to stay focused enough for the rest of that 400. but i couldn't take it anymore.
i started the recovery lap, but the pressure was just too much. that's when i left the team to finished the work-out on my own. i was pretty disappointed in myself that i couldn't stick with the team.
my 7th (the first one i did on my own) was ok. my heart wasn't in it. i was just getting thru it. and i did. somehow.
and then i closed my eyes. i thought, "maybe i can do something with this last one." and i did. the first 200m went smoothly. the last curve i was preparing mentally. and the last 100m i got on my toes to finish the workout.
i was satisfied enough that i finished the work-out to go join my team for the run back.

thinking about it now, i can't help wondering why i couldn't just finish with the team. they were motivating. why can't i deal with...the pressure? there shouldn't be any pressure. but i can say that i'm very happy that for the first time in a while i did most of the work-out with my team. its progress.