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My best attempts at rationalization

November 13, 2010 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Regional meet today. 7th overall, 21 points from 4th. Eliminated from nationals contention.

Honestly, given all the shit that's gone on this past week with people getting sick and all, I was very impressed with how some people ran. That race went out FAST and I was pleased to see everyone going for it. The team wasn't racing for 4th or 5th, or even 3rd...they were going for that auto bid. They balled up and put it all out there. I talked to Carter he said they went out 4:4x, 9:5x, 15:35 5k...that's quick.

It upsets me, though, that after all that work and training....that we failed. Notice, I say "we," because this is just as much my fault as it is anyone's in that race. We share in our triumphs, and our failures. That's why we're a team. I tried to put in the work and be there when the team needed me the most, and I failed. I was that extra all-region runner we needed, those 21 points, those 3 spots. Instead, I AM the guy who had to go through the slow torture that was the last weeks of this season. Last season, at least I had the consolation of knowing there was literally nothing that I could do about it because of my injury...but this year, I felt like I was the fastest person there that wasn't in the race. That thought absolutely killed me. It was my fault though, I lost training at a crucial point in the season; a point where I was on the rise; a point where every meet mattered; a point where any mistake was going to take me out of the top 10. All of that is in the past now...I can't forget, but I also can't dwell on it.

I know it didn't end how anyone wanted it to end, but that's life. We all had our chances to make it end differently and we didn't take them. Its all of our faults: coaches, runners, everyone. It was OUR season, take it or leave it.

Right now, its about training, getting ready for the Turkey Trot and finding out what kind of shape I'm actually in. I'm treating the Turkey Trot like its my regionals. 100% effort. No holding back, because after that, its nothing but easy base mileage until track.
Good riddance XC....its track time.