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A Little Leap of Faith

September 23, 2012 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 58 Sunny/Beautiful!!

Comments:
High Point to Elmwood to Parmenter to Pheasant Branch Trail to first bridge and back(with John)-

Yesterday I was incessantly moaning about how my hip isn't getting better and questioned whether or not to just throw out my comeback, declare it a failure, and eventually start over. I'd gotten to the point where John's been dragging my injured self along as my hip keeps on hurting.

But today, I decided to give my comeback another chance, and to truly want to make TODAY the day it works, to stop shuffling along at some unknown super-slow jogging pace, break out my watch, and go for a real run. Constantly focusing on how my hip hurts isn't going to help me. I needed to go out there, give it a slight test, and if it fails, it fails.

I believed from the moment I went out the door today was going to be a great day. I was going to finish the run without worrying about my hip at all. John was having sort of a rough day, and he's not in good enough shape for a normal run quite yet, so I knew I was forcing him a little bit too, but also counting on him struggling some to keep me from going overboard. I was completely calm, relaxed, and at peace with things today, unshakable with whatever minor things came out. That was part of what I wanted: if it hurts to let it hurt on its own merits and not because I think it hurts by some episode of cynical darkness. And it went quite well; I finished with it hurting LESS than normal of late at a pace I would consider acceptable under normal circumstances.

Today was an instance of me needing to put aside what my mind tells me is rational, accept my ignorance, and take a little leap of faith. Living on rationality alone is like trying to run each step with at least one foot on the ground. Sometimes you have to let them come off and take that little leap. Running faster SHOULDN'T make my injury feel better, yet I knew, as sure as I could be as a runner that once I believed myself this would happen and not talk myself out of it, it would work.

Now the real test is how long this will last. Will the small candle that is my running be blown out as soon as it experiences some wind?