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Short West PRE + West PRE

February 18, 2013 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 40F, overcast

Comments:
Busy morning, then I had a 30min mentoring session w/my boss. We chatted about a couple patients, then he asked about the Vallejo residency. So I told him; at first he didn't realize it was "for good". I explained to him all the reasons (both professional and personal). He was disappointed but understood.

Ran an easy/uptempo 4 over lunch. Since I didn't have a 1PM patient, I went back out and did another 5.

So I've noticed ANOTHER new thing about my mechanics. I know, I'm insane. But I swear all this shit is relevant. So I've been skyping/G-Hangout'ing w/people recently, and I've noticed, when I look at the little screen of me...my head always tilted right! Seriously. And I know it's from running: R leg doesn't push correct, L lands sloppy, trunk goes L, then the head "self-corrects" by going R. I've got the photos to prove it.

I've never focused much on it 'til recently, when I'm watching myself in those chats. I constantly go back to that R tilt. So on TODAY's run, I could feel actual stretch pain in the L side of my neck. So, I did the opposite: I tilted my head L! So weird! Not only did it feel weird as shit, BUT it did two other things:

1.) made it easier to land my L foot correctly ("wide").
2.) my trunk self-corrected to the R!

Crazy shit, but I might actually start TAPING the L side of my neck w/Kinesiotape (instead of the trunk).

L foot was sore again today. Irritating. The reality is, I still don't have that L foot landing down yet. I measured today: I can actively flex my R knee FOUR inches higher than my L. If you don't flex up cleanly, you can't put it down (land) cleanly. Period.

Yesterday: going through all those old boxes was tough. You wouldn't believe all the old shit I keep! So, EIGHTEEEN years ago (summer '95) I did this summer camp-ish trip to Houston, TX, for a "National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine" - some smart-kid camp meant to prep you for a career in medicine. Anyway, it was a week long "camp" (we stayed in hotels) and toured hospitals, job-shadowed, had seminars, etc. I met a ton of people, but one in particular, Jessica, stood out. She wasn't "SUPS hot", but she was cute and really nice. We got connected really well, and when it was over, we exchanged addresses and snail-mailed each other, as she lived in Manitoba, CA, and me in WI. (This was PRE-email! Seriously, I'm that fucking old as shit). Anyway, for years, we'd exchange letters and birthday cards. And then when things went electronic, I put her on my "monthly newsletter" list.

After all these years, we still keep in touch: though I don't pen the newsletter anymore, I sent her my Year in Review Post and we had a nice exchange. As for her, she's married and just had her second kid. She's also a clinical psychiatrist (MD).

Anyway, I found a big stack of her letters and cards. Though she never told me, outright, she definitely liked me. But, I didn't do anything. I was half-clueless, and the other half inept. I definitely didn't have the cojones to go for it, even though she was a petite, cute blonde with an MD! ("Dear God!")

It's hard to read those and not feel regret, and defeat, but you know what? Fuck it, you can't do that, you have to live your life: to go for it Now.

So back to yesterday: even though I felt ill all afternoon and night, I dragged my ass to Max's, because I was fairly certain that Alisa was working. She was, so I nestled in to a booth, and "hung out". When she got off work at 9ish, we talked a bit, and I found out her "summer job" (she's a bio/eco grad student) was being a forest firefighter! So badass! (FYI - that's what Tyler Curley does with his summers in Tahoe NF). She had a sweet USFS belt buckle on. We talked about the Bobby Lake Fire (which she did mop-up on, post-race).

She was about to leave, when I asked her if she "wanted out hangout outside of the bar". She countered with, "As friends, orrr? I have a boyfriend...". Saving face, I said, the former, and offered to buy her a beer, post-work, and exchange "belt buckle stories" (she doesn't yet know what "we do").

Anyway, another non-win, but I'm OK with it: living my life... so we'll see what happens. She's now gotten like 10x more awesome, being a forest firefighter. :)