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PRE/Campus

August 8, 2013 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: warm, but not hot (80?)

Comments:
Good day at work; milled around a bit after work. Big day today: my sister gave birth (e.g. it was surgically extracted) to a baby girl! Josie Elizabeth! Pretty fucking awesome. Talked to mom, but not Brandie, who was hurting after the surg.

Did "the basic" route today, again...and felt GREAT. The legs were a little worn from the fast Hardesty descent, but the energy was good, and I found that I could run quite fast - and long (50min) - before I was red-lining 150.

It's interesting. I expected that I'd be slow due to the fatigue of Hardesty. But it was the opposite. HOWEVER, one possible caveat was that we had a going-away lunch for a coworker, where I ate more carbs than usual - a SMALL amount of black beans and salad (but NO tortilla or rice), along with chicken, sour cream, guacamole, etc. So that might've played a role.

AHR: 140.

Run felt good. Back a teeny sore but really focusing on symmetry at work (even taping, as I'm finding myself "shifting left" while standing/sitting! UGHZ!). I find that when I don't use my abs well, I arch my back and "get long". When I use 'em, things firm up.

Ate right after the run, then debated going to Max's...

So I've got a "little project" going on there. Yes, I have this bad habit of "getting interested" in bartenders there. There's Alisa (who I actually asked to go out back in Feb/March(?), but was struck down due to a "BF"), Whitney (remember when I got all worked up about her and "meeting for a drink" that never happened?).

Well, for the past few months, there's been a new one - a little cute Blondie - that's caught my eye. At first I did not like her: she seemed way too "bartender cute and nice" (e.g. faking it to make $$) so I largely "snubbed" her. But since WS, she and I have warmed to each other a bit.

When I was out with Cliff and Jens that random Wed night in July, we "schmoozed" with her quite a bit (me "opening" her with a question about dating older men, as Jens (who's 42?) was really self-conscious about dating younger women). She liked it (and, "of course", had "no problem" dating older men). We were a little "touchy" with one another and she smiled/laughed a lot - some "indicators of interest" (though obviously tempered by the fact that it could be tip-generating behavior on her part).

Since then, I've been driven to "explore" that. There's an awesome strategy with service industry folks where - exploiting the fact that they're "spending time with you" and they "keep coming to see you" - you pretend they like you (and, ultimately, pretend that she's your girlfriend) in a cocky/funny way, which is an awesome segway into an actual dating interaction. I totally want to try it, but I really need a wing to help.

I've been waiting for a shot, but not wanting to go there solo, else I'd lose momentum by seeing her, and not keeping up the humor/enthusiasm...

Anyway, so I decide to go solo to Max's to work on my UR column and get a beer. Thankfully no Blondie when I'm there; Whitney's there, and she's still super-friendly. I get some work done, and it's a shade after 10 when Blondie and another - CUTE - little brunette girl walk in and sidle up to the bar.

My BIGGEST weakness - with women, AND in life - is I hesitate. I take FOREVER to act, and, 99% of the time, I blow my chance. So they're sitting there - at first with "space" next to the brunette. Then some dickweed sits there.

Another hard part about approaching women - besides my extreme fear of rejection anxiety - is thinking of a good "opener". So after sitting there for a while, thinking of what I'd use (talking to the brunette mostly, but engaging them both), I actually GO ONLINE to look up openers (stylelife.com, forums)! So I look and remember this "5 wrong questions" opener, which rocks. Then, I decide to combine it with a blonde/brunette "who's smarter" angle.

Sooo...I had it, but I was still hesitant. BUT, I was lookin' GOOD (my new dark skinny jeans, awesome dark turquoise v-neck and this sweet non-puka matching turquoise + coconut wood necklace), and I needed to do it. Just as I was about to leave, some bar space opens. I go up, with backpack on, intending to leave ("false time constraint"). I sidle up, ask the guy 'tender to close out. I don't look at the girls (though I obviously KNOW that Blondie "knows" who I am). I finally look over, and exchange hellos w/Blondie.

Then I open. To the brunette: "Are you guys friends? How do you know each other?"

They are friends, "best friends and roommates" (of course!).

I SHOULD'VE run the "best friends opener", but I don't know it very well (it's powerful "chick crack", for sure), but I went into the blonde/brunette angle + 5 questions.

To the brunette: "Who do you think is smarter? I think YOU are, so I'm going to ask you 5 questions - all you have to do is get them ALL wrong".

Brunette, who looked to be drinking water, was pretty bland in expression (the classic, "Ugh, who's this guy" skepticism). Blondie was ALL OVER IT, though.

So I asked the questions, taking a lot of time to think about them:

1.) "OK, what bar are we in?"

2.) "What month is this?" - they BOTH say (Blondie practically yells), "APRIL!"

I got in a pretty decent "neg" on Blondie here, doing the "Is she always like this?", pointing out that Blondie was interrupting/intruding on our interaction (which, of course, is the strategy, to make her feel oddly left out, since beautiful women are used to being the center of attention and hit on).

Next question: 3.) "What are Oregon's school colors?" - again, they both say, at the same time, "Black and Orange!". Weird.

So here's where I flubbed just a bit. Question four is supposed to be, "Wow, you're doing great, how many questions was that?". They almost ALWAYS will answer correctly, with 3.

But in my anxiety, I forgot that and went straight into question #5, which gets them 99.9% of the time: "Wow, you're awesome at this, have you played this game before?"

They ALWAYS say, "No!". And not to disappoint, so did Brunette.

Got her. B-) It was awesome. I don't think she was impressed, but Blondie was.

We small-talked just a bit, and I asked brunette her name (shouldn't have, but I was working quickly). It's Josie! So I told her about my 12-hour old niece with the same name.

At that point, Blondie started engaging with me, asking some random questions. But then she asked me, "Are you sticking around?" This threw me off. This probably WAS an "I.O.I.", but my anxiety/lack of confidence took this - at the moment - as threatening (e.g. they want me to leave). So I said, "Nah, I gotta go" - which I did - it was past 11PM.

So as I was biding adieu, I finally asked Blondie her name - Shawna. Good, strong handshake.

Then I left!

It was AWESOME! An authentic, fun interaction. But I regretted leaving. With retrospect and time, I should've said, "Do you WANT me to stay?", which would've been awesome (always put them on the spot, asking THEM - which either elicits their interest - YES, stay - OR, they might say "No", but it immediately plants a seed in them - "Maybe I DO want him to stay!"). I would've liked to do many one more value demo, but overall, I can't complain - it was a good overall interaction and a good set-up for returning - with some wings! B-)