View Workout (Joe Uhan)
Chat with Callie Alice
December 15, 2014 (Night)
Exercise Type: Other
Comments:
I texted Callie in the early evening with the express reason to have "The Talk". She didn't know that going in, but agreed to meet me at the Barnlight at 8:30.
We chatted a bit about a few things: my mom (her only dog just had to be put to sleep), and some other random stuff. Then I told her, "I have a couple stories, then a question".
Rather than throw down, I told her about Chelsea and Kaci, and the elements of "fake-friendships" and boundary-smearing.
Then, when it was time for "the question"...I didn't know what to ask. I really didn't. It was more like a, "Soooo...".
But that's all it took for Callie to run with it. She spoke. A lot. About her and Eric, and how it hasn't been working for a while, how they're on divergent paths (he used to be a competitive swimmer at Florida, but now eschews any exercise and smokes weed daily), and how he's introverted and fairly single-dimensional, while she likes to run, travel, and have adventures.
I was relieved to hear that she's been talking to Morgan about it for quite a while, and that "Timing is everything" - that's she's been "done" for a while, but is waiting 'til his quarter and finals are done to break the news. That, and she has a room waiting for her at Morgan's place.
This was all pretty shocking - at least in how developed it was in her end - but it did explain some of her behavior: that's "I could tell that she's done".
She spoke a lot; just a lot of venting. She is definitely an over-achieving fixer, and tried for a while to mold and fix him, to no avail. Even the FB pictures (of her and him, fishing) were last-ditch attempts on her part to invest in him, yet he didn't seem to appreciate those gestures, or reciprocate, in kind.
I then told her my "poop sandwich":
- that I like her
- that we no longer can "hang out" alone together (on nights like this one), or do things skewing the line between friends and dating
- that I don't care what happens (whether she does or doesn't break up with him, or what-who she chooses after that), that I *truly* will be there as a friend.
I told her my epic Fall 1996 story about Alicia (an oldie that BGD might not know) that SO closely resembles this situation, and how, when Alicia stumbled and was pressured into getting back with her BF (very temporarily), I flipped out and cut her off.
I won't do that again.
We then talked about us a little more: I LIKE her. I've liked her since the moment I met her, and even when things were great with Kaci (and new and exciting), I really liked her. She echoed that, and to my surprise, noted that - in a conversation with a coworker back in September, when he asked, "Who would you want to be with, if you weren't with Eric?", she said me.
Lastly, from a logistical standpoint, she's gonna break it to him in the next 1-2 weeks, when they go on break, which is good timing, then move out at the end of the month. I'm certainly not pressing *anything* on my end, only acknowledging that it's going to be really hard.
Soo....pretty big talk, but a good one. Really glad to clear the air, and just figure out where she's at without having to tip-toe around it. It's clear - especially after this past weekend - that the chemistry, and cohesiveness, is ridiculous.
Trying really hard not to make a huge deal out of this, and blow it crazy out-of-proportion as I did with Chelsea (and sort of with Kaci), and just keep the drama low. Again, the idea is that no one (not even a fantastic Callie Alice) will make or break my life, and that I'm simply looking forward to progressing things with her and I.
But...it's pretty awesome. Really like this girl...