View Workout (Joe Uhan)
OFF - the long haul home
March 8, 2015 (Morning)
Exercise Type: Other
Comments:
Slept in a fair bit at the Curley's, then got up, had some coffee, and worked with Connor on his stride. Turns out his right leg issues are largely from when he 1.) broke his ankle in HS, and 2.) sprained it a million times, including when he ran with BGD & Me at "Waldo Camp" in '12. Gave him a few things to do, then we had breakfast, the 5 of us: Christina, "DMC", Callie, and "The Boys". Really fun!
I got a bit of work done while there, then we packed up and said our goodbyes, out the house by 10:30. Drove to Depoe for some road coffee and saw the entire Twietmeyer family there, which was nice. I briefly saw Tim at WTC (he was the top Auburn finisher in a respectable 4:30), but only said hi, so it was good to chat a bit.
Grabbed some coffees, and we hit the road.
Achilles was...not terribly sore in the AM. Didn't do much at all too it, just let it rest up. Yesterday was a poor decision, but thankfully, by day's end, it didn't seem horribly worse for wear.
I drove the back way via 65, 70 and 99, then all the way to Weed. Had some decent chats with Callie Alice, then I handed over the reigns to her, so I could write.
I'm a major control freak and worrier, so her driving this section (again) through the passes is a little unnerving. She's actually a great driver, but when she started weaving, checking her phone, then driving onto the shoulder like 3 feet, with only one hand on the lower steering wheel, I got super-agro and got "snarky" with her, and snapped at her to drive carefully.
For a while, it was WAY quiet. I'm learning that her tolerance for me being an asshole is super-low. But, I guess, it afforded me time to get my iRF column done. She drove all the way to mile 99, and was still really quiet. After the gas stop, and we were pulling away, she began to talk.
- Really upset (crying, but "low-moisture") about me yelling at her, as that's how Eric ("The Clown") used to treat her
- She noted that it was hypocritical, as I was also driving recklessly, earlier in the trip
- She said that she doesn't do well with that type of reaction
I felt TERRIBLE about this, because, damn it, she's really sensitive, and more important, she's REALLY correct: I was being a dick, and hypocritical. I value her calling me out on that.
But then we got to the meat of it: she's feeling post-race insecurity and self-doubts, like she didn't run fast enough, that she "isn't good", and all sorts of incredible negativity! Yeesh! She fed, most negatively, on something I'd said to her earlier in the drive. She'd asked, "What do you think I could've run?" I assumed she meant, if she'd run at 110% effort, blowing out the tubes. I told her I think she's in 4:00 or maybe even 3:55 shape.
She took that to mean that I thought she *should have* run that fast, and that 4:09+7th place was a failure.
We spent the better part of the next 100 miles to Eugene talking about reality:
- that she ran fantastic, and that all her goals, "run strong, finish strong, finish happy" were accomplished
- that she didn't kill herself (inside or out) to run that time
- that she learned some great experiences
- that she did some awesome running on only 3 months of base miles
- that she has enormous potential, based on that smart racing
Overall, it was...well, good. I definitely need to be more careful about how I react around her. She's happy-go-lucky so much that I take for granted that, at times, she's *NOT* actually feeling that way.
PM: got back into Eug at 7, returned the rental car (What a steal! $60 total with taxes and we put 1100 miles on it! And 35mpg!). I finished my column and coaching work, and she graciously made us dinner.
PM PM: Before we went to bed, she told me something. We say, "I LIKE you, ___ " to each other, a lot. And, I really, REALLY do. But tonight, she told me, "I more than like you".
Obviously, we know what that means.
I'm not sure what she wanted me to say. First of all, it's not fair to say that and not say ALL of it, but second...I'm just not ready. I've been burned with those Three Words, HARD, the past year+, with Chelsea and Kaci, and, frankly, I just want to wait. Do I love Callie Alice? YES. She's fucking awesome, and has the purest, most unfettered heart of anyone I've met. But...part of me protecting HER is not to say that to her, yet.
So...I explained a bit of that to her, then we hit the sack.