View Workout (Joe Uhan)
Durango Sports Club weights
July 23, 2022 (Morning)
Exercise Type: Weights
Comments:
Double set:
1.)
• abs
• deadlift (light)
• bench
• DL row
2.)
• BIS + overhead shoulder press
• TRIS (diagonal "rope" diagonal chop-down)
Post-weights:
• sauna!
• sat outside along the pool
• to Walmart (return stuff, buy foods)
• to "mall" (got some sweet threads at Ross! Super-lucky!)
• to Natty
• home
PM:
• LONNNNG chat with Jules. Possibly our final one before (what I hope is) "The Decision".
She goes to ABQ this weekend. We got into her "break" with Zack. I simply requested/recommended she tell some of her BFFs (which will also be "home" this weekend) about "everything"
• what has happened with me
• what has happened with Zack
What I fear:
• she'll underreport about me (and thus under-report her feelings - and the "power" of what we shared last month, and the last 11 months)
• she'll under-report the (shitty and increasingly abusive) stuff Zack has done
She confirmed the latter ("They'll just judge him / the've never been in a long-term relationship"). Yikes. #facepalm
But what she did say, that was promising, was, "I think we need to be fully broken up" in order to assess the true value of the relationship.
We then talked about us: the "risks", our reservations (really, just hers, at this point). I reiterated the clarity of what I want and need. It's never been more clear.
Long, long chat. I feel bad for keeping her up late, but I hope it's the last of this nature.
It'll be an interesting - and painstaking - week. On one hand, some of these developments have been SO slow. So painful to live, minute-by-minute, waiting and hoping (like 4th of July weekend).
Yet at the same time, she's moved way faster than expected. When she "shut things down" on Monday 7/11, by Tuesday night, she had told Zack she wanted a break.
Now, they're "on break" (little communication) with a planned in-person chat this upcoming weekend. Some clarity could happen, then.
I hate how strung out I feel about this. But goddamn it, when you FIND what you want, more than anything/anyone, ever? And THEN you find that they want YOU just as much?? How can you not be completely hung-up on this possibility?
It's brutal. But I'm just trying to get by, day-by-day, hour-by-hour.
Thank GOD running is going so much better!! #fingerscrossed